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NEW TRIER HIGH SCHOOL
PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT
To all of our fellow classmates of the class of 1972 who turned 70-years old
recently or who will turn 70-years old very soon.
New Trier High School class of 1972: turning 70-years old seems rather ominous and well... it seems, very old.
But relax, it’s just one measurement. For example, at 70, you are less than 15 in dog years, only about 56 in elephant years, and an immaterial amount of time in uranium’s radioactive half-life decay.
Remember that Claude Monet painted some of his best water lilies after age 70; Georgia O’Keefe began painting skyscapes, using watercolors, and throwing pottery after turning 70.
So count your blessings. A common fruit fly lives for only 50 days. Imagine if we were all fruit flies and had to get through New Trier High School in only 2-3 days. I don’t know about you, but I surely would have skipped gym class--especially wrestling classes (at NTE pronounced: “wras-tlin’ classes”) and those horridly embarrassing gym classes full of ballet positions and Jets v. Sharks spinning stag leaps from West Side Story. I mean I love ballet and Broadway choreography, but this fruit fly never looked great doing 1st position pliés in high school gym shorts.
Finally, and according to some faiths, turning 70 years old means that your life is now full and complete--a full, complete life is three score and ten.
So the bad news is that your life, at 70, is now finished, over, complete. But the good news is that you get to start a whole new life over again.
So we should all look forward to our new life--having our first communion in the next 7-8 years, or our bat/bar mitzvah in 13 years , or even a quinceañera in 15 years!
See you then!!!
Walleye Pike, Fish of the Week
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'Jerry Seinfeld' has something to say to our class:
You know, folks, hitting the big 7-0 as a member of New Trier's Class of '72, it's, well, a bit daunting, isn't it? It's like, "Hey, I'm officially old!" But hey, let's not jump to conclusions just yet. Age is just a number, Jerry. I mean, at 70, you're basically a spry teenager in dog years, and in elephant years, you're a mere 56. And as for uranium's radioactive half-life decay, it's like you're aging at the speed of, well, nothing at all!
You know who I was thinking about? Monet. He was dabbling in those water lilies well into his 70s. And don't get me started on Georgia O'Keefe. After she hit 70, she's like, "I'm gonna paint some sky stuff, toss in some watercolors, and throw some pots." It's like they started new chapters, Jerry!
Now, speaking of chapters, think about fruit flies. Those little guys have a lifespan of a measly 50 days. Can you imagine if we were fruit flies trying to survive high school in just 2-3 days? I tell you, I'd be dodging gym class like my life depended on it, especially those "wras-tlin' classes" and those cringe-worthy West Side Story Jets vs. Sharks spinning stag leaps in the gym.
But here's the kicker, according to some belief systems, hitting 70 means your life's all wrapped up; it's like a complete package deal. Three score and ten, they call it. So, the bad news is that your life's, well, done. But the good news? You get a whole new life, fresh out of the box! It's like starting over from scratch, Jerry!
So, what do you say? Let's look forward to our first communion in the next 7-8 years, or maybe a bat or bar mitzvah in 13 years, and heck, why not a quinceañera in 15 years? It's like we're hitting our second wind, baby!
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